Save the World with Screen Names
by miss.ninja.kimi
Summary: King Mickey mails a mysterious package to Destiny Islands…computers! It turns out, Organization XII is back, and they no longer want Kingdom Heartsbut total reign over the internet! How can our heroes stop them? With the magic of IMing of course!
1. The Madness Begins

**Save The World With Screen Names**

**s u m m a r y ::**

King Mickey mails a mysterious package to Destiny Islands…computers! It turns out, Organization XII is back, and they no longer want Kingdom Hearts…but total reign over the internet! How can our heroes stop them? With the magic of IMing of course! Whacky pairings and mad KH crack inside.

**h o w i t b e g a n **

"What is it?" Sora asked in wide-eyed wonder, staring at the package that had washed up upon Destiny Island's shores. It was a large brown box with a letter taped onto it, bearing King Mickey's symbol. Riku and Kairi stood nearby, not wanting to have anything to do with the box.

"It's a package, obviously," Riku stated, crossing his arms. "Sora, bring it here." He didn't want to touch it, what if it blew up in his face? Nope, it'd be safer if Sora took the risk.

He did, heaving the heavy box over to his friends. Quickly, the brunette handed the letter taped onto the box to Riku and tore into the package, trying to find out what was inside.

It took a while, but when Sora got to the bottom of the package, he pulled out three mysterious items that he had never seen before. He turned his blue eyes to Riku for help.

"They're called laptops," the silver-haired boy said, skimming through the note quickly. "And they're from King Mickey…Says here that the Organization's back…and they wanna take over something called the Internet."

"Not again!" Kairi groaned, tossing her arms in the air. "You guys can't leave the islands again, we just got done with this whole beating-up-evil thing two times in a row!"

Sora shook his head and snatched the note from Riku. "I don't think we'll have to leave again this time…and…you can help, Kairi!"

Kairi and Riku both crowded around the note as Sora read the important things out loud. "The Internet can be accessed through these laptop things, kinda like when I went to Space Paranoids, I guess, except, different. When we get to the Internet, we'll need things called screen names, so we can talk to each other using this odd thing called "IMing". We'll have to figure out what the Organization's screen names and make sure they don't take over the Internet!"

Kairi looked confused. "So, we'll need screen names, and then we can talk to people all over the world?"

Riku nodded, pointing at a part in the note. "That's about right. Everyone we know has one. Leon, Cloud, Yuffie, Roxas, Yen Sid…Winnie the Pooh…" Riku stopped for a second to think how that was even possible. "Mickey says to be careful of websites like MyKeySpace, that's where you can get…molested and raped…"

The threesome shuddered.

"Alright, this sounds easy!" Sora exclaimed, tossing his heads behind his head. "Everyone take a laptop and we'll meet up online tonight!"

Riku and Kairi nodded with a slight smile.

- - - - - -

**spikyhairedshortee14: **riku?

**DaRkEmO: **yea, it's me

**spikyhairedshortee14: **this IM thing is hella confusing, and the Internet's even worse

**DaRkEmO: **lmao sora, just get in a chat, then everyone'll talk to you, we'll get closer to finding the Org. that way

**spikyhairedshortee14: **alright, but if I run into some mental creep who wants to molest me, I'm blaming you

_-spikeyhairedshortee14 has left IM-_

**DaRkEmO: **…Who'd wanna molest _you_?

- - - - -

**goodyTWOshoes**: I'm just suggesting, maybe you should stop chasing sephiroth all the time, maybe go bowling with tifa and forget about him

**angelhater224: **but…he NEEDS TO DIE

**compxxaddict: **XD leave cloud alone aerith, his obsession will kill him one day

**goodyTWOshoes**: Squall! That's not nice

**kickassninja: **lmao!

**compxxaddict**: it's LEON! And you shut up too, yuffie

**angelhater224: **yeah, can we get back to talking about how I hate sephiroth?

**goodyTWOshoes: **we're _supposed _to be looking for the Org., not some angel

_-spikyhairedshortee14 has entered chat-_

**spikeyhairedshortee14: **does anyone where know where I can find some creepy guys in black suits?

**kickassninja: **cloud's kinda creepy and he wears black!

**goodyTWOshoes: **you looking for the organization too?

**compxxaddict**: who exactly are you?

**spikyhairedshortee14: **mickey says not to give out personal information over the internet

**compxxaddict**: lmao, aerith, it's your brother, a goody two shoes

**goodyTWOshoes**: Hey wait! He knows Mickey!

**angelhater224: **guys, I think that's sora

**spikyhairedshortee14: **took ya long enough

**goodyTWOshoes: **we haven't figured out the Org.'s s/ns yet, since _some_ people would rather rant about certain one-winged angels

**kickassninja: **hey, since when have you had a s/n sora?

**spikyhairedshortee14: **uh… since today

**compxxaddict**: lolz n00b

**goodyTWOshoes: **Squall!

**kickassninja: **XD

**compxxaddict**: It's LEON!

**angelhater224: **get back to us when you find out anything

**spikyhairedshortee14: **will do, but don't count on me finding anything soon

**compxxaddict**: cuz he's a n00b

**kickassninja: **don't be rude, _Squall_

**compxxaddict**: --

**angelhater224: **oh, and if you see a man with one wing, silver hair-

_-spikeyhairedshortee14 has left the room- _

**angelhater224: **…crap

**compxxaddict**: L.M.A.O!

**- - - - - -**

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **I wonder how sora's doing

**DaRkEmO: **dunno

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **I mean, he hasn't imed me yet, I wonder why

**DaRkEmO: **dunno

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **I hope the organization hasn't like, taken over his computer!

**DaRkEmO: **dunno

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **r u even listening to me?

**DaRkEmO: **dunno

_-xredxhairedxprincessx has left IM-_

**DaRkEmO: **you say something kairi?

- - - - - -

**2superior4j00: **I sense a disturbance…

**PyRoMaNiAc: **what's wrong boss?

**xxblondewittleemo: **yeah, because it wasn't us who lined your robes with grape jelly

**2superior4j00: **uh…no, it's not about that

**PyRoMaNiAc: **and we didn't steal your victoria's secret magazines either

**2superior4j00: **someone stole them?!

**xxblondewittleemo: **like axel said, it wasn't us, we swear

**2superior4j00: **it's not about any of those things! I think the Keyblade master and company have screen names now…

**xxblondewittleemo: **sweet!

**2superior4j00: **no, this is not sweet! If they find out who we are, our plan will be doomed…again…

**PyRoMaNiAc: **don't sweat it boss, they won't find us out

**xxblondewittleemo: **we're not as stupid to actually tell him our names XD

**2superior4j00: **aha, you're right, I should've trusted you

**PyRoMaNiAc: **yeah, you should really be talking to Zexion, he's the one who stole your magazines

**2superior4j00: **what?! Zexion?! Really?

**xxblondewittleemo: **-nod nod- it's to try and make you mental, you know how he loves his mind games

**2superior4j00: **thank you, #8 & #13, I'll see to him at once.

_-2superior4j00 has left the room-_

**xxblondewittleemo: **lmao axel, you know Zexion's gonna kill you later for that, right?

**PyRoMaNiAc: **yeah, I suggest we start packing Roxy, we're gonna go hide out in Canada

**xxblondewittleemo: **sweet! Bacon land!

_-xxblondewittleemo has left the room-_

_-PyRoMaNiAc has left the room-_

- - - - - -

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **sooooora, u there?!

**spikyhairedshortee14: **yah, I'm here

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **good, cuz Riku's boring and doesn't wanna talk to meee, what good is having a screen name if no one talks to you?

**spikyhairedshortee14: **he's prolly just looking for the Org, you know how obsessed he gets

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **yea I guess…hey, what are you doing?

**spikyhairedshortee14: **lookin for the org, ain't getting far

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **ugh, cant any of you take a break?

**spikyhairedshortee14: **just pick a chat and help, it's kinda fun

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **-sniffle- you men are all the same! Work isn't fun

_-spikyhairedshortee14 has left IM-_

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **!!! Why does every1 abandon me?!?

- - - - - -

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **In this struggle match, we're gonna wipe the floor with Hayner and his stupid friends

**yaknow: **Yeah, ya'know? 'cuz now that the stupid emo blonde they hang out with suddenly disappeared, they stand no chance! Ya know?

**silence: **Cakewalk.

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **couldn't have said it better myself Fuu.

**NotAHEARTLESS: **I wonder whatever happened to him…

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **who cares, Vivi! As long as he doesn't steal the trophy from me again, everything's good.

**yaknow: **Yeah, what Seifer said! Ya know?

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **your obsession with that word is hella annoying, Rai

**yaknow: **What word, ya know?

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **That word!

**yaknow: **I dunno what you're talking about, ya know?

**silence: **Irritating.

**yaknow: **ya know, you all are making so sense to me right now

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **-sigh- just forget it

_-DaRkEmO has entered chat-_

**yaknow: **an intruder! Ya know?

**DaRkEmO: **Not interrupting anything, am I?

**NotAHEARTLESS: **whoever you are, it wouldn't make a difference if you heard, unless you live in Twilight Town

**yaknow: **or have ties to Hayner and them idiots, ya know?

**DaRkEmO: **Hayner? What kinda name is that?

**silence: **Queer.

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **Like Fuu said, we don't like them, and we don't like you

**DaRkEmO: **Bossy, bossy, bossy…

**DaRkEmO: **Anyway, you seen any guys in black cloaks? Or have screen names of evil people?

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **why do ya wanna know?

**DaRkEmO: **because…uhh…if you tell me, I'll give you the s/n of this really hott girl

**silence: **Not interested.

**yaknow: **But that's cuz Fuu's a girl, ya know? How hott?

**DaRkEmO: **Hella hott

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **alright, there's this person named "PyRoMaNiAc" who keeps stalking our chat rooms, asking about Roxas

**yaknow: **He's annoying, ya know? He wants to know what Roxas's favorite color is and what's his favorite type of music and all this other crud! He's obsessed, ya know!

**silence: **Stalker.

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **Now pay up, stranger!

**DaRkEmO: **Ok, her screen name's "spikyhairedshortee14"

**yaknow: **Doesn't sound like a girl's s/n, ya know?

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **Ima IM her first!

**yaknow: **me first, ya know!

_-XslimshadyimitatorX has left the room-_

_-yaknow has left the room-_

_-NotAHEARTLESS has left the room-_

**silence: **Boys…

_-silence has left the room-_

**DaRkEmO: **lmao…Sora's gonna kill me…

**a u t h o r s n o t e::**

Riku has Axel's screen name, Seifer and friends have Sora's, and someone's been stealing Xemnas's Victoria Secret magazines! How hard will Zexion be punished? When will Kairi suck it up and start helping? Why can't Cloud just forget about Sepihroth! All these questions will be answered in the next chapter, but it can't get up with reviews!


	2. Gender Issues

p a r t t w o::

gender.issues.

DaRkEmO: sora!

spikyhairedshortee14: what? What is it riku?

DaRkEmO: look I gotta tell you something

DaRkEmO: there's these guys, they have your s/n

spikyhairedshortee14: what about it?

DaRkEmO: whatever happens sora, do NOT by any means-

spikyhairedshortee14: hold on Riku, I have 3 new IMs

-spikyhairedshortee14 has left IM-

DaRkEmO: -sigh- I tried to warn him…

- - - - - -

XslimshadyimitatorX: what's good hott little shortie?

spikyhairedshortee14: what in Kami's name…

spikyhairedshortee14: who the hell are you?

XslimshadyimitatorX: Seifer, but everyone calls me S-I-N-G-L-E

spikyhairedshortee14: lolz u spelled ur name wrong, ain't Seifer spelled S-E-I-F-E-R?

spikyhairedshortee14: and wtf is ur problem? I'm not allowed to talk to gays

XslimshadyimitatorX: if I was gay why would I be hitting on a hott chick like you?

spikyhairedshortee14: this may come as a surprise to you, but I'm not a girl, I'm sora

XslimshadyimitatorX: but, uh…you have to be a girl….because if you aren't…I just…oh damn…

spikyhairedshortee14: lmao, you poor soul

spikyhairedshortee14: but, uh…who gave you my s/n in the first place? And who told you I was a girl?

XslimshadyimitatorX: DaRkEmO said that you were a hella hott girl

spikyhairedshortee14: riku…

spikyhairedshortee14: alrighty Seifer, I'll leave you here to stew in your muck. if you find the s/ns of any bad guys, gimme an IM

XslimshadyimitatorX: I will if I ever get over the fact that I just hit on a boy..

-XslimshadyimitatorX has left IM-

spikyhairedshortee14: Now to deal with the others…THEN riku..

- - - - - -

yaknow: ya know, I heard you were hella hott, ya know? Is that…ya know, true?

spikyhairedshortee14: Two words. I'M. A. GUY.

yaknow: …

yaknow: …that's screwed up, ya know?

spikyhairedshortee14: You know I'm gonna have to block you now, right?

yaknow: yeah I know…ya know?

spikyhairedshortee14: Yeah, I know.

-spikyhairedshortee14 has left IM-

- - - - - - -

NotAHEARTLESS: Hmm, I've never hit on a girl before…how should I start off…

spikyhairedshortee14: I don't think you should…

NotAHEARTLESS: Ok, I know! I'll imitate Rai, ya know!

NotAHEARTLESS: Uh…hi! Ya know!

spikyhairedshortee14: Ok, firstly, you'll never snag any girls that way

spikyhairedshortee14: Secondly, I AM NOT A GIRL.

spikyhairedshortee14: and thirdly, aren't you a girl?

NotAHEARTLESS: Naw, I'm a boy.

NotAHEARTLESS: Looks like we both got gender issues huh? -snicker-

-NotAHEARTLESS has left the IM-

spikyhairedshortee14: wtf…

spikyhairedshortee14: I just got dissed by a gender confused Heartless!

- - - - - -

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: ahhh, shit

sadisticnymph666:what now, Zexion?

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: someone's knocking on my door and I almost was finished with my Soduko!

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: who the hell could it be..

sadisticnymph666: does it look like I care?

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: can't really see what you look like over the comp screen

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: Crap, it's Xemnas!

sadisticnymph666: hah, you're screwed

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: he's saying something about me…stealing his Victoria's secret magazines…

sadisticnymph666: O.o Why does boss have those…?

sadisticnymph666: and why did you steal them? Of all the things of his to steal…

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: I dunno, but he's ready to go all Darth Vader on my door. And hey! I didn't steal them! Why would I want…those…

sadisticnymph666: and you sit here talking to me while the devil knocks on your door

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: I'm thinking and typing at the same time, for your info larxene

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: who would steal his magazines…

sadisticnymph666: aren't you supposed to be smart? Who else would steal them?

sadisticnymph666: c'mon, it ain't that hard, stupid

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: ah…shit! He's here! But I know who did it!

swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: AXEL & RO

-swiftlittlexMINDxteaser has left IM-

sadisticnymph666: hehe, torture..

sadisticnymph666: wait! I need to be there to take pictures! Don't start without me there!

-sadisticnymph666 has left IM-

- - - - - -

DaRkEmO: Kairi, you there?

xredxhairedxprincessx: Yep!

DaRkEmO: Ok, good. Sora hasn't pestered me about selling out his s/n

xredxhairedxprincessx: You did what?!

DaRkEmO: it was to get information! I think I mighta got Axel's s/n, but for all I know, it could just be one of Roxas's many stalkers

xredxhairedxprincessx: -snicker- he DOES have his own online club

DaRkEmO: da hell? He does?

xredxhairedxprincessx: it's blondeemobish dot com

DaRkEmO: How do you know about this site Kairi?

xredxhairedxprincessx: Uh…

xredxhairedxprincessx: I kinda..

xredxhairedxprincessx: …made it.

DaRkEmO: Um…yeah, what happened to Sora?

DaRkEmO: Wait, screw that.

DaRkEmO: What happened to ME?

xredxhairedxprincessx: Well, you two weren't paying attention to me!

xredxhairedxprincessx: It's Org this and Org that! But I, Kairi, am Roxas's secret online girlfriend now, and there's NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

xredxhairedxprincessx: 'Sides, Roxas is just like Sora 'cept his emo :3

DaRkEmO: -points to s/n-

xredxhairedxprincessx: Yeah but…he's BLONDE!

-xredxhairedxprincessx has left IM-

DaRkEmO: Shit!

DaRkEmO: I lost Kairi…again!

- - - - -

spikyhairedshortee14: Ok Riku, there's no hiding anymore.

spikyhairedshortee14: WHY THE FREAK DID YOU GIVE OUT MY S/N TO TOTAL STRANGERS!

spikyhairedshortee14: AND THEN TELL THEM I'M A HOTT GIRL!

DaRkEmO: I did it for…

DaRkEmO: Axel's screen name.

spikyhairedshortee14: What? You got an Org s/n? At MY expense?

DaRkEmO: Yeah, pretty much. It's PyRoMaNiAc if yer interested, haven't interrogated him yet.

spikyhairedshortee14: I hate you Riku.

spikyhairedshortee14: But uh…why'd you tell them I'm hott?

DaRkEmO: It helped the bargaining process

spikyhairedshortee14: yeah suuuure

DaRkEmO: What are you getting at?

spikyhairedshortee14: nooothing at alll -whistle-

DaRkEmO: …ah, gross!

DaRkEmO: That spiky hairstyle must be getting to your skull

spikyhairedshortee14: yeah, whatever ya say, rikuuu

DaRkEmO: -sigh-

DaRkEmO: Oh, speaking of relationships, guess what? Kairi's got an online boyfriend

DaRkEmO: that's not you

spikyhairedshortee14: ZOMGWTF?

spikyhairedshortee14: who?

DaRkEmO: Roxas, the better side of you, I guess XD

spikyhairedshortee14: Ok, that's screwed up.

spikyhairedshortee14: She'll be better tomorrow, this'll all just be a misunderstanding

DaRkEmO: whatever you say Soraaaaa

-DaRkEmO has left IM-

spikyhairedshortee14: haha, Riku and his lies…

- - - - - -

PyRoMaNiAc: damnit, packing takes forever

xxblondewittleemo: Hell yeah, but it'll be worth it. Just think! BACON LAND!

PyRoMaNiAc: -sigh- Maybe we should hide out in Florida…

xxblondewittleemo: but I already got us the tickets!

PyRoMaNiAc: XD Little emos always think ahead

xxblondewittleemo: Ooh, I got mail!

PyRoMaNiAc: It's prolly that e-mail I sent you last week, you never replied -sigh-

xxblondewittleemo: Nah, this ain't from you

PyRoMaNiAc: O.0 Who's it from?

xxblondewittleemo: Oh, this girl who made me my own online site, goes by "xredxhairedxprincessx"

PyRoMaNiAc: You're associating with girls…

PyRoMaNiAc: …that you don't know!

PyRoMaNiAc: That I don't know!

xxblondewittleemo: Don't get your chakrams in a knot, it's just a couple e-mails!

PyRoMaNiAc: Ok, that's it, I'm looking in your e-mail

xxblondewittleemo: You won't get my password!

PyRoMaNiAc: Oh really? The word "Roxas" seems to work quite well

xxblondewittleemo: -sigh- Knew I shoulda changed it…

PyRoMaNiAc: Roxas…these aren't just some e-mails..

PyRoMaNiAc: YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!

xxblondewittleemo: Yeah, so?

PyRoMaNiAc: Oh…my heart! It's tearing…in two…

-PyRoMaNiAc has left IM-

xxblondewittleemo: Axel! Wait!

xxblondewittleemo: You don't have a heart!

- - - - - -

yaknow: I can't believe that dude riku tricked us! Ya know!

XslimshadyimitatorX: That chicken wuss would never have done that if I was up in his face

NotAHEARTLESS: Yeah!

silence: Foolish.

XslimshadyimitatorX: And Fuu takes the words right outta my mouth again! Wait, you meant Riku right? Not us!

silence: You three.

yaknow: You can't call your best friends stupid! Ya know!

XslimshadyimitatorX: I actually agree with Rai here

silence: Non-comprehending.

yaknow: I thought we like, were best friends and such! Don't we always get each other? Whatcha mean, non-comprehending?

NotAHEARTLESS: yeah!

XslimshadyimitatorX: What! What is it that we don't understand Fuu?!

silence: My emotions.

-silence has left the chat-

XslimshadyimitatorX: Shit! Rai, you screwed up Fuu!

yaknow: It's not to blame me, ya know!

XslimshadyimitatorX: Damnit Rai, we need her for the Struggle Battle! If she's too busy being mad at us, what are we gonna do?

yaknow: Maybe ya should talk to her, Seifer

XslimshadyimitatorX: Yeah, you're right, I'll talk to her.

-XslimshadyimitatorX has left the chat-

NotAHEARTLESS: -sigh- Women…

yaknow: I know what ya mean, ya know?

- - - - - -

spikyhairedshortee14: aerith, I think I'm gonna be sick

goodyTWOshoes: What happened, Sora? Did Leon say something to you again!

spikyhairedshortee14: It's not about him calling me a n00b!

spikyhairedshortee14: My girlfriend left me…for myself

goodyTWOshoes: …?

spikyhairedshortee14: Kairi likes Roxas better than me!

goodyTWOshoes: Oooh…I see how that would make you sad.

goodyTWOshoes: Maybe it's time for you to move on

spikyhairedshortee14: But I can't!

goodyTWOshoes: Go bowling with Riku and everything'll disappear. Inhale…exhale…

spikyhairedshortee14: Well, aren't you ever jealous of Cloud & Tifa? They've clearly got a thing going on, and you got stuck with Zack XD

goodyTWOshoes: We're aren't supposed to speak of him! This is KH. In this universe I'm alive and Zack doesn't exist.

spikyhairedshortee14: Well, WUTEVER. How should I deal with this?

goodyTWOshoes: Just remember to let her live her life in happiness and bliss. And then everyone will be happy. Once you see that she's happy, you'll be happy, and eventually Riku will be happy, and then the world will be filled with peace and love.

spikyhairedshortee14: ZOMG hippie.

spikyhairedshortee14: Well anyway, I'ma go find a way to win Kairi back. See ya!

-spikyhairedshortee14 has left IM-

goodyTWOshoes!! Why doesn't anyone listen to me anymore!

- - - - - - - -

spikyhairedshortee14: Ok Axel, the jig is up. I know this is you. And I only got one thing to say to you.

PyRoMaNiAc: Oh yeah? What is it, midget Keybearer?

spikyhairedshortee14: HELP ME WIN KAIRI BACK!

PyRoMaNiAc: Heh, I knew you'd come to me sooner or later

PyRoMaNiAc: Cuz the thing is, I need you help me win back Roxas

spikyhairedshortee14: As gross as it is that you like my other half, you've got a deal

a u t h o r s n o t e::

With Axel & Sora teamed up, how will they win Kairi back? Have the Keybearers forgotten why they were given screen names in the first place? And what the hell is Fuu's problem? -checks calendar- Is it the end of the month? XD Stay tuned folks! Better chapters on the way!


	3. Lyke Eh Mi Gawd

**p** a r t **t** h r e e

lyke eh mi gawd

**sadisticnymph666: **I'm a Barbie girl...in a Barbie world…

-PyRoMaNiAc has entered chat-

**PyRoMaNiAc: **singing again, Larx?

**sadisticnymph666: **it's none of YOUR business what I do

**dancingwaterdude4eva: **lawlz, she was singing

**sadisticnymph666: **shut it up, Demyx

**gamblinaddict224: **-sigh-

**shootinNstabbin: **alrighty, can we just get this meeting over with?

**dreadlockdevil35: **nice of you to join us late AGAIN, Axel

**cottoncandyblue4you: **ahem, as you all can tell, there's a considerable amount of us missing.

**cottoncandyblue4you: **there are the members no one cares about, for instance: Vexen, Lexeaus, Marluxia…but enough are here. We are here to discuss about the death of Zexion.

**PyRoMaNiAc: **HE DIED?! Saix, why do you tell us this now?

**cottoncandyblue4you: **well, he didn't die…yet… but once Boss wrings his neck about him stealing his Victoria Secret magazines, he might as well be.

**PyRoMaNiAc: **Victoria secret magazines…

**gamblinaddict224: **Yes, and it wasn't me. I only gambled off a pair of Zexion's Soduko magazines this week.

**dreadlockdevil35: **you wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you Axel?

**PyRoMaNiAc: **Ah…of course not. Me an' Roxas had nothing to do with them.

**dancingwaterdude4eva: **where IS Roxas?

**PyRoMaNiAc: **there's a funny story about that…

**cottoncandyblue4you: **there's no need to tell it, Axel. We already know about blondeemobish dot com, and about it's creator.

**shootinNstabbin: **haha, looks like Rox hasn't been a good boy lately…

**sadisticnymph666: **AND it looks like Axel got blown off for a prettier red head…

**dreadlockdevil35: **-snicker-

**PyRoMaNiAc: **shut up, all of you! I'll have you know I implied some help to bring Roxy back to his senses.

**cottoncandyblue4you: **who would that be, Axel? Any allies we know of?

**PyRoMaNiAc: **Ally? Well…for **me**, you could call him that. You see, a funny thing happened in Betwixt and Between…but it's a story I'd rather not tell.

_-PyRoMaNiAc has left chat-_

**cottoncandyblue4you: **I have a feeling Axel is not being loyal to the XIII again.

**shootinNstabbin: **gee, what gave you THAT idea?

_- - - - - - -_

**shoppingorangechick7: **Hey Hayner, the Struggle battle's real soon

**armypantsown: **Yep! I'm a little worried about Seifer and the gang though…

**xxfatjoexx: **what's to worry? I heard that Seifer ticked off Fuu, she's the second best next to Seifer.

**shoppingorangechick7: **what about Vivi, Pence?

**xxfatjoexx: **Pffft, that gender confused Heartless don't got jack on us, yo

**armypantsown: **you know what guys? I miss that blonde emo kid that used to hang out with us…

**xxfatjoexx: **yeah, he would've cleaned up in this competition

**shoppingorangechick7: **I wonder where he went…

- - - - - - -

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **Ok, Fuu, look, a wise man once said it takes a real man to stand up and apologize for what he's done

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **and because I'm so manly, this is why I'm able to say

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **I'm sorry

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **dunno what I did, but I'm sorry.

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **will you talk to me now?

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **please?

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **with those weird purple sprinkles you like on top?

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **ok, chocolate syrup too

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **maybe some marshmallows..

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **Fuu?

**silence: **Cherries.

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **Yeah, with cherries on top too.

**silence: **Apology accepted.

**- - - - - - -**

**INBOX OF XREDXHAIREDXPRINCESS**

**++You have ONE new message**

**from: **xxblondewittleemo

**subject: **baby, it ain't gonna work out

**body:**

Look, Kairi, my angel, I'm sorry, but this whole internet relationship won't work. I got things I need to do and you and I just can't see eye to eye on some things. I can't really tell you what I'm up to, with the black cloak club, but it ain't pretty and I don't want you hope. Maybe one day angel, after all this is over…we can be rekindled.

HAHA YEAH RIGHT.

-Roxas

- - - - - -

**spikyhairedshortee14: **think it worked?

**PyRoMaNiAc: **hell yeah it did!

**spikyhairedshortee14: **I still can't believe his password is "Roxas".

**PyRoMaNiAc: **and he said he changed it too, LMAO. Anyway, I hope Kairi can't tell that we wrote it and not Roxas

**spikyhairedshortee14: **I don't think she'll be able to tell. I'm part of Roxas, after all.

- - - - - - -

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **LYKE EH MI GAWD

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **riku riku riku riku riku riku riku

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ANSWER ME!

**DaRkEmO: **Yo

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **RIKU! Oh my gawd, Riku, I'm so sad

**DaRkEmO: **What now? Did Roxy ignore you as well?

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **WORSE! HE DUMPED ME!

**DaRkEmO: **Oh. Snap.

**DaRkEmO: **Well, it just goes to show that ya can't trust neither side of Sora

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **I should give him a piece of my mind!

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **Or at least…do something about this! I just can't believe it! This shit is bananas!

**DaRkEmO: **B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **what am I gonna do, Riku?

**DaRkEmO: **How should I know? Look, I'm still looking for the Org's s/ns, and if you don't want me to sell your screen name to a stranger, ya best leave

**DaRkEmO: **and you know, there's always me.

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **but…you…ugh. You'll never understand. If you need me I'm going to go tell off Roxas

_-xredxhairedxprincessx has left IM-_

**DaRkEmO: **it's not like you give me a chance to understand…

_- - - - - - - _

**malefymanipulates4ever: **Pfft, no one cares Ursula, I'm way more important than you

**bigfatOCTOGURL: **Just because Atlantica decided to take up musicals doesn't mean that it's any less terrifying than the worlds you lot are in!

**xfireyxangelx: **yes yes, but when it comes to power, I've got more HP than Xemnas, so I'm the best villain

**jamminJaFaR: **go back to FF, Sephy!

**daHOOK: **put a lid on it, all of you!

_**-**xxblondewittleemo has joined chat-_

**xxblondewittleemo: **Good afternoon, fellow evil ones

**bigfatOCTOGURL: **well, if it isn't the blonde bishie with his own website. Come to show us all up?

**xxblondewittleemo: **No, just need some info

**xxblondewittleemo: **Have any of you see Axel around the chats lately?

**jamminJaFaR: **Axel? The dude with the Sonic the Hedgehog haircut?

**xxblondewittleemo: **Yeah, that's the one

**daHOOK: **I believe I saw him in a chat room once discussing some website…blonde emo something dot com…

**xxblondewittleemo: **What was he saying about the website?

**daHOOK: **I don't remember exactly…something about ukes and blondies. Why?

**xxblondewittleemo: **No reason. Continue arguing!

_-xxblondewittleemo has left the chat-_

**bigfatOCTOGURL: **Emos today…

**malefymanipulates4ever: **Forget about him! Back to how deviously evil I am.

**xfireyxangelx: **We were just getting ready to admit that I was the best villian!

**daHOOK: **You know what Sephiroth? You better shut up before I come over to Hollow Bastion and stick my hook right up your fat-

**CONNECTION SERVERED.**

**- - - - - - -**

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **ROXAS.

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **I'm just saying this now

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **NO ONE breaks up with me first

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **So YOU didn't break up with ME.

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **I broke up with YOU.

**xxblondewittleemo: **WTF?

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **You heard me, blondie! I got your e-mail.

**xxblondewittleemo: **What email?

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **Don't play dumb! We are through!

_-xredxhairedxprincessx has left the IM-_

**xxblondewittleemo: **…

**xxblondewittleemo: **Eh, she wasn't hott anyway.

- - - - - - -

**DaRkEmO: **Roll call!

**DaRkEmO: **Sora!

**spikyhairedshortee14: **Here!

**DaRkEmO: **Bitchy!

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **…

**DaRkEmO: **I mean -ahem- Kairi!

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **Present…

**DaRkEmO: **Ok guys, none of us (besides me) have found out the Org.'s s/ns.

**spikyhairedshortee14: **Hey, I've been searching!

**DaRkEmO: **No, I know what you've been doing, you two. It's not searching.

**DaRkEmO: **Don't lie to me.

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **Ok, so we've been slacking, big whoop! I just got dumped, I have rights.

**spikyhairedshortee14: **Aww, you got dumped by Roxas, Kairi?

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **NO! I dumped HIM.

**spikyhairedshortee14: **Mmmhmm.

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **What do you know!

**DaRkEmO: **Hey guys. Some advice: SHUT UP.

**spikyhairedshortee14: **We're listening.

**DaRkEmO: **Ok, so, my plan is that we use our hawt bodies to find their s/ns.

**spikyhairedshortee14: **How do we do that exactly….

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **I am NOT being a prostitute!

**DaRkEmO: **Not like that, scumbags.

**DaRkEmO: **We go on MyKeySpace.

**spikyhairedshortee14: **Mickey says that site is the crap of Satan!

**DaRkEmO: **Sacrifices must be made Sora… But since we only need one guy and one girl to do this, you can chicken out.

**spikyhairedshortee14: **Heh, I don't need your way. I'll get the Org's s/ns myself.

_-spikyhairedshortee14 has left the chat-_

**DaRkEmO: **Kairi, you're with me, right?

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **I have nothing better to do

**DaRkEmO: **Good. Sign up at the site, and request to be my friend. Just search up Riku.

**xredxhairedxprincessx: **-giggle- Sora doesn't know what he's missing.

- - - - - - -

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **She shakes it like jello, makes Seifer say HELLO!

**NotAHEARTLESS: **Whatcha talking 'bout, Seif?

**yaknow: **Yeah, ya know?

**silence: **Curious.

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **There's this hawtie with a body on MKS, and she says she's single! Dayuuum, you should see these pics!

**yaknow: **Gimme her link, ya know? I wanna be her friend!

**NotAHEARTLESS: **Same!

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **it's mykeyspace dot com/xredxhairedxprincessx

**yaknow: **She's going on my Top, fo sho!

**XslimshadyimitatorX: **Hey, back off, I saw her first!

**silence: **Chaos insures…

- - - - - - - -

**sadisticnymph666: **Hmm, Zexion, I think you can come out of hiding now.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **What would be so interesting to make me do that?

**sadisticnymph666: **Riku and Kairi. They have MKS's now.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Come now, sadist. Don't tease me about these things.

**sadisticnymph666: **For once in my years, I'm not saying this just to get your hopes up and crush them. I'm as serious as I am the Savage Nymph.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **MOST interesting…

**sadisticnymph666: **I think they are attempting to allure us with their pictures.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **If anything, this will be more harmful to them than it is to us.

**sadisticnymph666: **You don't mean…

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Yes, I do mean, sadist. I'm breaking out plan A. A for AkuRoku.

- - - - - - - - -

**xxblondewittleemo: **Hey Axel.

**PyRoMaNiAc: **Yeah, buddy?

**xxblondewittleemo: **Sorry about before.

**PyRoMaNiAc: **It's alright.

**xxblondewittleemo: **But uh…You didn't hack into my email account and break up with Kairi through email pretending you were me…did you?

**PyRoMaNiAc: **No, never! You're my best friend, why would I do something like that?

**xxblondewittleemo: **Eh, just checking. I knew you wouldn't have.

**xxblondewittleemo: **So uh…did you hear about Zexion?

**PyRoMaNiAc: **What about him?

**xxblondewittleemo: **Did you hear…what he wants us to do…

**PyRoMaNiAc: **I don't know nothing about no Zexion. C'mon Rox, spill it.

**xxblondewittleemo: **I can't really say it… Let me invite him in…

_-swiftlittlexMINDxteaser has entered the chat-_

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Ok, let me make this quite clear.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **I happen to be number IV, ranked higher than you two'll ever be.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **The Superior will trust me much more than he ever will you two. Once I show him your DNA on his Victoria Secret magazines that I've found in SOMEONE's closet, he'll cast you two away to oblivion.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Unless….

**PyRoMaNiAc: **Alright, you got our attention.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Riku and Kairi now have MyKeySpaces, and are attempting to allure us to their profiles with their…pictures.

**xxblondewittleemo: **KAIRI HAS A MKS?

**xxblondewittleemo: **LYKE EH MI GAWD.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Are you quite finished…?

**xxblondewittleemo: **Yeah, I'm good.

**PyRoMaNiAc: **-eye roll-

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Marvelous.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Now, do you know what is more pleasant than a skimpy dressing redhead and a silver haired bishie?

**PyRoMaNiAc:** Mashed potatoes?

**xxblondewittleemo: **Bacon Land?

**PyRoMaNiAc:** Taco Bell?

**xxblondewittleemo: **Crumpets?

**PyRoMaNiAc:** I WANT CRUMPETS.

**xxblondewittleemo: **LYKE EH MI GAWD ME TOO.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **…

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Marvelous guesses….but NO.

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **The correct answer is: yaoi.

**xxblondewittleemo: **What's yaoi?

**PyRoMaNiAc:** Does it taste like yogurt?

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Oh, we have so much work to do..

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **NO, NEANDERTHALS. Yaoi is well…Ok, let me put it in simple terms for your smallish brains. Fangirls nowadays seem to like it when two people of the male gender … are together, in a relationship. If we can just…

**xxblondewittleemo: **Wait, whoa, hey. I see where this is going!

**xxblondewittleemo: **And let me tell you, I am not-

**PyRoMaNiAc:** WE'RE IN!

**xxblondewittleemo: **What the fruit!

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **Exceleeeeent…. Meet me in Larxene's quarters, we have TONS of photos to take…

**xxblondewittleemo: **Why in Larx's room?

**swiftlittlexMINDxteaser: **You know her…she loves torture…

- - - - - - -

**armypantsown: **LIKE EH MY GAWD. LANCE BASS ON MKS

**xxfatjoexx: **Lol, Hayner, that's not Lance Bass. Lance Bass isn't blonde. That's…

**shoppingorangechick7: **ROXAS!

**xxfatjoexx: **Yeah, that blonde we used to hang out with!

**armypantsown: **Dude…since when was he gay?

**xxfatjoexx: **Heh, I always thought he was the uke type.

**armypantsown: **He looks like he'd make a good pillow. -snort-

**shoppingorangechick7: **Hmm, I'd give anything to be that red-haired guy right now..

**a** u t h o r s **n** o t e::

Riku and Kairi have broken the one solid rule: do NOT go on MyKeySpace! Now, with their accounts in check, how exactly do they plan to find the XIII with pictures? And what is Zexion planning to do with Axel and Roxas? Why did Hayner mistake out little blonde for Lance Bass? WHY DOES RAI ALWAYS SAY "YA KNOW?" ALL THE DAMN TIME?

Review and you'll find out!


End file.
